Don't Stop Believing

Sometimes I think I take life too seriously and other days, I don't take life serious enough. I understand that I am young and have plenty of years ahead of me, but I don't want to miss an opportunity.

Lately, I've been scared of falling in love. I don't want to waste time with the wrong person. I don't want to give all I've got to find it all thrown away. I understand that all guys aren't the same, but we'll see if someone can prove that to me and sweep me off my feet.

I'm honestly not looking for a relationship right now or willing to settle down. If someone came along and changed everything, maybe- but right now, I'm just doing me.

I did awesome my first semester of college then fell apart during my second semester. I'm not only embarrassed of myself, but disappointed. I made a promise to myself to focus on what's important. I could care less in high school and I never want to gain that mentality ever again, especially now that I'm in college.

Besides gaining focus of what is important, I've recognized things that make me really happy..

• Conversations with Rob
  -He understands me better than most. I can always count on him and love hearing his opinion.
• Glee!
  -It's my new addiction. I mean c'mon.. Hello Finn & Noah! I secretly wish my life was a musical.
• Slurpees
  -I've been drinking at least two a day with my official diagnosis of bronchitis.
• Notes on my receipts when I waitress
  -It's encouraging. It's the little things that make me happy.
• Neon shorts
  -Enough said.
• All my new friends at Scramblers
  -Regardless of random kitchen melt-downs, we are a family and family sticks together.
• The colors: purple & blue
  -I'm obsessed with them! They're cool colors and I just enjoy them. Don't judge me! :)
• Red Hair
  -I'm sticking with it this time. I don't know why I even changed it.
• Blue Eyes
  -I'm a sucker for boys with blue eyes.
• Second Chances
  -You individuals know who you are. Please don't make me regret it!
• Sam & Evan
  -Ev left for the Army and Sam has been his biggest fan. I want a love like theirs.
• Gummy Worms
  -My brother just bought me some & I'm stuffing my face. Get over it.
  
  Spring classes, Kalahari, The Avengers, Alexa's play and the Mother/Daughter banquet are all this month!

Let's see what God has in store for me this month.. let's hope for lots of flowers! ;)

You find a way to replace my pain with love.

I think it must be the rain falling on my rooftop, puddles in the pavement, splashes from the tires of cars driving by, that has made me want to sit down, reflect on my life & talk to God.

This time, last year, I was sitting in Psychology class. It was my senior year and first year of not having my boyfriend, Tommy, at school with me. I was nervous about it, but God gave me the most beautiful, three friends a girl could ever ask for- Chelsea, Becca and Kristen. The times that I share with them are probably all in my top ten favorite high school memories.

The year before that, I was a junior- figuring out who I was and supporting my boyfriend, Tommy, as he conquered his senior year of high school. It was probably my hardest year. I lost my best friend the summer after Junior year. It destroyed me. My heart was in pieces on the hospital floor, saying bye to his handsome face. I had Melissa & Tommy though, who loved me- even when it was hard.

2 years ago, I was a sophomore. I was struggling with who I was at my old school. I couldn't figure out why I was at school. I didn't care about anything. I had Timmy by my side at school and that's all that really mattered to me besides barely passing my classes. I had a boyfriend, Austin, who I faced some struggles with in my life. The struggles weren't his fault. They were just challenges thrown my way that I had to face or runaway from. I kept choosing to run. I kept running and running until I ran into Tommy- who changed it all.

Today, I'm a high school graduate & freshman in college- living my life fearlessly. I may not have the same people in my life that I did in the past, but I am thankful for every memory that I've had with them. God has a way with situations. They're handcrafted and beautifully made. He has all the details painted out. I have found where I belong.

I've got whatever it is.

I can officially say that I am a full-time college student!
The past two days have been the best due to so many various reasons..

-"Stomping the yard"
-Dropping off a slurpee in the middle of the night
-Picking up hours like crazy
-Looking at condos & appts
-Heart to heart conversations
-Meeting new faces
-Meeting college requirements through testing
-Finishing Highschool, for good- even though I already graduated, haha
-My brother, just being awesome & my best friend
-Pretty Little Liars & Teen Mom tonight

:)

Best friend's 21st birthday this Friday! Yay!

It's not how many times you've been knocked down.

I have a lot happening these next couple of months and I am more than excited for this new chapter in my life. I'm signed up for college, getting a place of my own, changing up my own look, getting a car, working part-time and taking every day, one step at a time. I am so incredibly happy and so outrageously blessed.

It's how many times you get back up. :)

Don't wanna be torn.

I'm working on getting my feet back on the ground.

I've had a lot of bumps in the road recently that are throwing me off.
Speeding ticket, parking ticket, & missed my college's orientation.

I need to write more thank you cards, save money, & get college sorted out asap!
I need to prioritize and stop messing around.
College will be here faster than I know it.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated.